Grieving After a Wrongful Death

Grief is Different for Everyone

Have you ever known someone who appeared to be unaffected by a loss? Perhaps they preferred not to talk about it and were able to return to work right away and laugh at jokes.

It would be easy to assume that this person was not experiencing grief.

Perhaps another person cannot stop talking about the loss, cried openly and often, and is not their usual self well right after a loss.

It might be easy to assume this person is overwhelmed by grief and not functioning well.

You may also notice physical changes such as trembling, nausea, trouble breathing, muscle weakness, dry mouth, or trouble sleeping and eating are common in when grieving.

Though grieving occurs naturally for most people, there are some things that can help.

Here are just a few of the many ways that people experience grief:

• Give yourself permission to grieve: though people in our culture are not always comfortable with others grief, it is important for you to give yourself the time and space it takes. The more we deny our grief or try to ignore it, the longer it will last.
• Recognize there is no “right way” to experience grief: you may not grieve the same way others do but it does not devalue your way. The intensity of your grief may also last different periods of time than others.
• Seek social support: it is normal and reasonable to look for support from others following a loss. Choose someone you trust and feel you can be real with, even if it means the “messy cry” or expressions of anger.
• Do something to mark the loss: there is a reason many cultures have rituals around death: they assist in helping people recognize that something significant has occurred and helps us understand how to respond to these situations. Establish a memorial fund or plant a tree when a loved one dies. Find a way for you to recognize the change. It doesn’t have to be big, it just has to be important and meaningful to you

About the Author: Frank Piscitelli

As a first-generation Italian in the United States, Frank is no stranger to tough times.

His father’s family moved to Cleveland from Italy on May 22, 1958, with a few articles of clothing, some personal items and very little money.

His family shared a home with three other related families but happily worked long hours doing jobs that involved physical labor, just to put food on the table.

There was the promise of hope and opportunity, which was missing before his family moved here.